A mother's mourning

 A Mother’s Mourning

 I woke up with a start as my daughter Lisa shuffled around the bed. Her long, wavy honey hair curled around her small frame and her beautiful beige arms embraced me as she found a comfortable position. She shook slightly as the cold beds let no room for warmth. I hugged her back to give her body heat. I looked up at the ceiling, a plain thatched roof it was. Our home may not be as grand as Lord Wenry Hotton's castles or as clean as the church in our manor, but it was certainly cozy as we grew up with it and the memories pertain to us only. I murmured silent prayers grateful towards God for all of His glory and graciousness. With a kind smile I fell back asleep embracing my daughter.

The small window to the right of our beds allowed the morning sun to peek through. I had awoken first and had been setting up breakfast in the common room. The meal had been made up of corn, lettuce and some bread. While I gently placed the bowls and utensils we shared, my mind wandered off to my husband. He had been a wonderful man-- perhaps his appearance was common with a set of brown eyes and hair, but there had been little to complain about when he had been with us. He never beat me and refrained from speaking crudely, unlike the bruises and vulgarity shown by the other peasants living in Lord Wenry's town. If he were not a peasant you would have thought he was a vassal! My parents had set up our marriage and through the years of living together we learned to love each other. We had Louis, our oldest with a fiery temper and cocky eye; Giovanni, our middle son who unfortunately passed away little after he was born; and finally, our precious gem that is now around six years old, Lisa. I always called my husband sweet names out of respect; although I did not ever ask him about it, he never questioned me either. We lived comfortably that way. 

My train of thought was interrupted by an angelic and childish voice with two small arms around my thigh and the harsh arrogance of a "What am I eating?", contrasting my children sharply. Sighing, I picked Lisa up and carried her whole responding to Louis's question politely, "Son, we are eating the usual." He grinned as he sat down on the wooden chair and waited, for some reason excited. I exclaimed, "What a miracle it is to see you so glad! What's wrong?" Lisa giggled at this and I sat her down. With his mouth full of lettuce, he smirked. "Mother, it's time-- I'm escaping this place. I'll find a better home for all of us." I gasped and sternly frowned. "Louis, where will you even go? You can die out there. I know I can't stop you but-- but, we're living so happily this way. Lisa scares the crows away from the gardens, I weave your clothing and cultivate crops, and you help out in labor all the time! I know it's been hard with your father not around anymore, but I've done my best to create a happy environment for you two to live in."

He scoffed at this, "Mother, is this really happiness? To work for someone as unruly as Lord Wenry Hotton, a man who has never had to work a single day in his life? Look, we are near the port of Marseilles. I know a friend here who was able to get in contact with one of Lord Wenry's acquaintances during his stay here. In reality, everybody dislikes him! My friend was told to not tell anyone of this, but the man was only here in order to scout people to join his guild. As long as we can leave without being caught, life will be easy and we could maybe even scale up in status by becoming merchants!" I shook my head in disapproval. "Louis, you know that it would be difficult for us to go. It's safer to be here than going with some random man that you haven't even met--" He interrupted me yet again. "Mother, I will go first. When I establish good wealth I will come back for you." My cheeks flushed in fury and I swung my hands down, slamming the table and scaring Lisa who was shaking in terror throughout all of this. I composed myself after seeing Lisa, thinking on what God would think if I let myself be overcome by anger and sighed. "What if it doesn't work?" Louis let out a pitiful smile. "I'll come back and let myself be beaten." This reminded me of what could possibly happen if someone noticed that he was gone and told Lord Wenry about it-- we would be punished, too! As if he knew my thoughts of realization, Louis reassured me, "Lord Wenry won't notice. He's going out on a trip to meet up with the king while his wife stays behind. According to some of the servants, he'll be gone for months because apparently he's in debt and will pay it back through military service." I let out a breath that I didn't know I'd been holding back. Pausing for a good while and thinking of what could happen, I finally answered-- "Alright. I guess it'll be easier to just maintain two people. Not having to clean an extra person's rough wool and linen underwear and clothes will help relieve a load…" He smiled stood up to hug me. I wept as I looked up and pet his hair. He looked just like his father-- that flame in his heart only made him all the more admirable. "He would be so proud of you." At last we stopped the embrace and I gently caressed his face. "Louis…Please, stay safe." That was my last plead as he grinned and Lisa jumped at us both, crying out a tiny "I'll miss you, big brother! Take care!" That very day we packed a small bag of his clothes, including long stockings and two gray and brown tunics, an amount of crops from our garden so nobody would be suspicious if we had taken them from the fields, and at last Lisa handed him a handful of daisies. He knelt down on one knee and kissed her on the forehead as a thank you. He had waited until unholy hours and we silently whispered and waved our goodbyes when he left. We knew that he would do wonders.

   A month had passed and there was never a day that I had not prayed for the safety and health of my child. Lisa and I started living a secluded lifestyle yet went to church often enough to not cause any gossip. Thankfully, nobody seemed to regard Louis's absence-- perhaps it was due to how prideful he was towards those who didn't know him very well, but whether it was due to people's distaste towards him or not didn't matter. While picking crops from the fields one day, I heard men boisterously talk to one another. I didn't mean to eavesdrop but then I heard one of them mention Marseilles. I made sure Lisa was not paying attention to me or them and saw her being distracted by a white butterfly. Not wanting to cause a scene, I simply listened closely to them and gasped when I heard the terrible news that occured.

"Did you hear what that old geezer said Michael?" "Are you talking about that disgusting spread of death in Marseilles? Of course I heard of it, you idiot. It's been the daily talk these past three days!" "Do you know the symptoms of it?" There was a pause, showing that Michael had no idea. "Well, I'll tell you about them then...The folks there have been getting these nasty swollen balls all over their bodies. As big as a chicken egg, they say! Their skin turns ghastly pale and there are blotches of black all over them. Many would call them dead if it were not for their groans of pain and vomiting. Coughin' and bleedin' with a fever as high as Hell's entrance. Within days those who get sick die without the mercy of a peaceful doom. They call it the Black Death." "What?! Why?!" "Well young Michael...Some say it's the fault of those bloody cursed Jews. I remember overhearing from one of Lord Wenry's conversations with a man from Switzerland that the Jews had poisoned wells there. Who says it can't happen here? Even with that though, I say it's God's wrath. All we can do is beg, pray, and kneel at His feet." "Jonathan, what will we do if it comes to us?" "We're likely as good as dead. I'd kill myself if I got it. I couldn't bare the Black Death spreadin' to my family. I have three daughters and four sons, you know? They all have bright futures ahead of them. I wouldn't let anything happen to them." "I see…Thank you for informing me about all of this, John." He chuckled bitterly, "Never a problem to teach the young ones before it's too late."

My eyes widened in shock and I dropped the basket of crops unto the fertile soil. Tears threatened to drop as I choked on a clump of saliva. The men realized this and one yelled at the other for talking about such horrid matters in front of a woman. The other man, Jonathan, asked if I was alright and I nodded as I struggled to breathe. "Woman, breathe! Sweet Lord, don't make my information be the cause of a mother's heart attack!" After a few moments of desperation, I managed to compose myself and Lisa came up to me with a "Mommy?" I responded to her with a forced smile, "Mommy's alright honey. Mommy's alright…" That night I did not rest. I had turned off every candle and Lisa fell asleep with ease. She cuddled and stayed close to me, but that brought me no comfort. Even after I prayed for Louis I could not shake away the fear of losing him too. Weary thoughts plagued my mind. 'God, I have lost one of my children and even my husband already. There is no way you could take away Louis as well. He is too young to go to Heaven. Please, my Lord, cover him with your holy light and secure him with your blessings.' Alas, I fell into a slumber.

I met my husband again. He had encouraged me to live on and do my best no matter what happened. I wanted to speak yet I could not. He spoke the word of God to me and wore a cross upon his chest proudly. He gave me sweet kisses-- on my forehead, then on my chin, then on my left cheek and on my right, and at last on a tender and faint one on the mouth. However, this turned sour as I felt the metallic taste of blood in my mouth and I opened my eyes to see him sickly and ill. I wept and could not do anything as he was taken away into a void. Such a terrible smell-- not even the smell of excrement, manure and sweat could compare. The scent was suffocating. I couldn't breathe. I can't breathe. It's horrible. Wake up, Marie. Wake up. I heard groans escape me—

    "Mommy! Mommy, wake up!" Lisa wept and she woke me up. I was shaking and so was she. However, she had a grin upon her, which I could faintly see thanks to the gleam of moonlight peeking through the window. After regaining from a dizzy consciousness, I mumbled, "Lisa? What are you doing up so late? Go back to sleep." The scent still lingered. Yet she persisted in waking me up. "Mommy, Louis is back!" At this I opened my eyes rapidly and jumped up from the bed-- "What did you say?!" "Mommy, Louis is back! He's back! He probably hasn't taken a shower in a long time so he smells really bad, but he's back! He woke me up from the window and said he wanted to see you and that he's waiting outside. Come on mommy, let's go!" Happiness overcame me as my memory of the nightmare faded away with this knowledge. I grabbed Lisa's hand and we ran towards the door and opened it excitedly. I whispered-shouted, "Louis?! Louis, where are you?" Lisa then tugged at my sleeve and pointed to the right, where a faint silhouette could be made out from the darkness of the night. He was leaning on the dirty stone walls of the house and was dimly illuminated by the beautiful moonlight. Then his face turned to us and I could only see misery, grief, and despair upon it. The vivid descriptions had come to life. I ran to him as he groaned in pain and weakly whispered, "Mother…Lisa…" He coughed loudly, blood spilling to the floor and bits of it reaching me. His vulnerability made me take a step back and I then yelled at Lisa to do so as well. I dropped to the floor, not knowing what was a safe distance to be from him. "I'm...sorry…" A tear grazed dropped as I knew of what had happened. I did not force him to speak as his final moments approached. Despite knowing he was dying, he attempted a smile and grabbed rotten daisies from his pocket. He did his best in speaking yet took his time. I reassured him as sobs left me, "Louis...it's alright...It's going to be alright…I love you, Louis...We missed you…" Afraid of what was happening, Lisa also began crying. "Louis...Louis, I love you a lot too. Mommy and I missed you so much…" My son closed his eyes. Through his last breaths he whispered, "I love you, mom, Lisa...I love…" Louis coughed violently and could not take it anymore. He passed on to the other side.